Here's how: cut the movie into 10 or 12 snippets. Shuffle them, throw them in the air, pick most of them up from the floor but leave a few. Paste them back together in random order, add a couple of brand-new songs. And above all, replace the merry-go-round horses with Greek statues that come to life. (Fig leaf very evident.)
It was surprising and enjoyable. The new Bert made a pretty passable substitution for Dick Van Dyke but Mary Poppins was in no way comparable to Julie Andrews. Her voice hit all the notes but the sound system just didn't get it right--I winced a couple of times and wanted to cover my ears. We also had complaints about the children's lines and singing--it's as though they were having to talk a little too loud and it came out hard to understand. I don't blame the kids, just the sound mixer.
Best part of all? Seeing so many little girls in pink dresses sit still for so long.
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