Flirting with French, funnily

Flirting with French: How a Language Charmed Me, Seduced Me, and Nearly Broke My Heart

by William Alexander

You know how it goes when old dogs try to learn new tricks.  Not so well, maybe, but it makes a good story. His struggle with learning the language is both hard and hilarious. If he were to fail, it wouldn't be for lack of effort.  But you can't laugh at him for trying....

Well, actually you can. Here's a couple of bits.

I ask one of the instructors who speaks English (as well as Spanish) whether she thinks English or French is harder to learn. "Oh, English!" she says without hesitation. ... Her biggest problem learning English was the strange pronunciation (I imagine she's referring in part to r's that don't originate from your rectum) and the vocabulary.

I belly laughed at that, but I know what he means. I can't do a Spanish R or a French one either--they take superhuman effort and sometimes make you fart.

On their last dinner at school, they're drinking a bottle of wine that happens to have an  English translation on the label. It goes like this:

The vintage is resulting from the assembly from Viognier type of wines and white Clairette 88 years, entirely collected with the hand, in cases. That gives a wine of yellow color pale with flavours of fishings and fruits white. To be useful between 10 and 12 degrees C, with aperitif, with foie gras, cooked fish or white meats.