The Widow Douglas Diet

Here follows my brilliant insight into how Asian women can eat all that rice without getting fat and why Americans are helpless to duplicate the feat.

It's not what they eat, it's how they don't eat it.

Contemplate a fancy Japanese meal photograph.  Beautiful, no? 

Bring it into an American home, close the door and pull down the shades. I don't know about you, but I'd slop it all together on a plate and dig in with a spoon.

The person who invented Chinese carryout must have really had a grudge against Americans. The rice comes in a box and the greasy, saucy entree in a separate container--Chinese eaters will eat it, properly, with chopsticks. Chopsticks let you pick the pieces of food out and leave the sauce behind. The rice is eaten plain, except for what falls out of the chopsticks onto your lap.

But then...they offer it to Americans. Without an instruction manual. Or chopsticks.  And of course, with true Yankee ingenuity, we take it home, dump the rice on a plate, pour the entree on top, and let the rice soak it all up. Eat it all, forkful by heavenly forkful. And smile. And grow fat.

I say, Don't do it! Give your taste buds time to get bored. Eat the rice plain; eat the entree in pieces; throw away the yummy sauce. :-( 

So, that's the secret of my diet--
    Don't swap the juices! 
 
I'm going to call it the Widow Douglas Diet, based on this quote from Huckleberry Finn about the Widow's victuals:

...though there warn’t really anything the matter with them,---that is, nothing only everything was cooked by itself.  In a barrel of odds and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the juice kind of swaps around, and the things go better.